Jade A. Waters

Rachel Kramer Bussel’s collection of nine essays features some of her best commentary while also examining our sexual culture. Pieces such as “I’m Pro-Choice and I Fuck” and “Monogamishmash,” among others, are thoughtful explorations of what our labels mean, and perhaps more importantly, what they don’t mean, while also sharing personal anecdotes and revelations in a relatable and engaging way. My personal favorites were “I Have Trouble with Orgasms” and “Sex and Cupcakes”; the former is a smart, important read for most women regarding the “lacking” some are made to feel with such a common experience, while the latter is a beautiful, revealing, and balanced memoir exploring the relationship between her two sides (erotica writer and cupcake blogger). I also particularly enjoyed her comments on society’s tendency towards slut-shaming in the name of feminism, while still condemning those who choose to speak their erotic truths—a topic that prevailed in this latter piece.

The joy of Ms. Bussel’s writing is that she doesn’t express opinions and jam them into her readers’ minds. Instead, she welcomes other desires, styles and kinks in her examination of the topics at hand. Her openness reminds readers that in exploring our own sexuality, there is no need to push our wants and desires onto others—and this openness is the primary reason her essays hold so much intrigue.

I highly recommend this collection!